“We have found, altogether, the complete remains of 14 human beings, all believed to be female in their late teens through early 20s. It looks like the most recent was reported missing in 2005. That number includes the three women recovered last night. Their torsos were in one of the other barrels. Not all 14 have been identified yet.”
LOTF correspondent on the scene Anatata Fukkuhiro says that no cameras or interviews are being allowed but that she can clearly see the Clintons still sitting calmly on their front porch in rocking chairs:
“It’s like they’re taunting the FBI. They just sit there, having told the FBI they won’t be answering any questions until the recovery is complete and they can meet in a neutral location. It doesn’t seem like they have anything to worry about.”
Clinton spokesman Christopher Blair told us:
“Of course they’re not worried, you nitwits. You fell for this same shtick last time. Were you not paying attention when they discovered a serial killer who lived next door until a year or two ago? They might be thinking HE would be the obvious choice if you had to point fingers. Try not to be so stupid.”
He may be the reason the Clintons aren’t worried but the rest of us know they are far more dangerous than a guy who was caught killing a few people a bunch of years ago. Of course, the Clintons should be the first suspect.